Regardless of what google or yahoo might tell you there is no monkey sex here...
No monkey sex, no monkey sex with women, and no womanmonkeysex..

And no whale fried either, whatever that is..

Plus I am more popular on google for 'There is no Arizona' then Jamie O'Neal.
She sings the song that gives this blog it's title...

Sex Ed Tip of the Day...
First, for the ladies...
"Contrary to the term "blow job," most men do not enjoy their partner blowing into their penis."
It's not a balloon, sweetheart, and it won't get any bigger...

Now, for the guys...
"When you hear rapid heavy breathing and feel her body start to tense up, she's really enjoying the stimulation you're giving her. Whatever you do, don't stop doing what you're doing..."
um.. Duh..

So now there will be no bullshit, no wasted time, and no chance for, you know, permanant injury...

May I have your attention please
If LisaLisa is in the store, please report to the customer service desk. Your fellow bloggers are worried and concerned.
Thank you, that is all

LA Times
"Chuck Jones, the animator who helped give life to that wascally wabbit, the portly pig, the lisping duck and the tormented coyote, died Friday in his Corona del Mar home. He was 89."

I think a little part of the child in us all died today.

Visualise Whirled Peas

Oh my.. not only are caps lock keys ickle but the picture has it in the proper place..
*glee*

Strange personal fact...
I don't own a television, but I own 37 DVDs...

If I could be like that...
Have you ever heard the song, "Be Like That"[mp3] by 3 Doors Down? I sometimes feel like that.. But who would I be like...
Who would you be like, if you could be like that?

update... reports of the MP3 not working.. Please sound out if you can't here it and I will work something out :)
Odd.. works for me..

I'm still here. I haven't died or gone anywhere. I just haven't had much to write about in the past few. I think of these things to write but they all go nowhere. I feel uninspired, boring, stupid. I feel blah, in the blah-est form of the word. Even now as I write this, there is nothing coming into my mind. Hopefully this is a passing phase. Does anyone else go through this? Is this normal?
Anyway, since there seems to be a small faction of readers that seemed somewhat upset at my lack of bloggage, here is something.
I apologize for it :)

Awww Yeah...
The gift that keeps on giving.

So I had my first day at my new job today. Nothing too exciting to report. Just yet another first day at a new job. Seems pretty cool tho. Should be interesting, as it looks like I get to write apps for the Palm Pilot... We shall see.

Went out to lunch with some ex-coworkers today, and found out that NeoPlanet seems to pretty much be shutting it down. They laid off half of the remaining staff, and are pretty much liquidating their assets. Cool thing is tho, I picked up a laptop that goes for about $800 on eBay for $300. So I am a happy guy.

This entry brought to you by the George Foreman Grill

The George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine rocks it proper, yo. Run, don't walk, to your local store and buy one.
Also, Woodchuck Draft Cider (Granny Smith variety) rocks me steady all night long.

I've got a job!!!

Well, that was fun, and now I'm bored again.
I made some cornbread (from scratch, no mix) and some banana-nut muffins (from mix). That took up maybe an hour. Then, I cooked up a dinner that consisted of 2 fried eggs, bacon, sausage, fried potatoes, and a huge piece of cornbread. Your arteries are harding just listening to me talk about it. Of course, everything was cooked together, so there was a nice slash of bacon grease on everything, to make it taste just like home. Now, I can barely move to type this in...

I grew up in a small town in western Michigan. It was the kind of place where, when we were raising a new pole barn for my dad, you didn't have to ask for help, people just showed up. I grew up on some land that my dad bought from his dad, next door. An my granddad's land was next to my great uncle's farm. That land has been in my family and farmed for over 100 years. My uncles live just up the road. My brother bought a house less then a mile from my parents house. My sisters live within 5 miles of my parents. We would go over to my folks almost every sunday to sit and talk and have popcorn. My dad even grew some popcorn once. My brother and sisters would go over to my parents house to pick fresh vegetables, beans and squash and corn and whatever, to can and store. And now I live over 2000 miles away from my family. My dad is getting older now, he is in his 70's, and everyday I fear that I am going to get the call. Something happened or whatever. And I'm 2000 miles away.
I remember back before I got married. Lying in bed one morning, I woke up early for some reason. The phone started to ring. I didn't want to answer it because every time the phone rang when I was in bed, it was something bad. My mom had a heart attack. The doctors were able to take care of it, they caught it in time, but I remember sitting there on the phone. And sitting at the hospital. There was that thing.
Now I think about that thing everyday. I am just now realizing that when my parents go, I am not going to be there. I have spent my entire life trying to get away from my family, I always thought they were hicks. I guess I am too. I guess everything I thought about them was wrong. I guess it really doesn't matter much now.

Life is a strange place. Just thought I would get that out there.
Had a nice conversation with my Chicago-friend last night. He was worried because I haven't been around on ICQ since the layoff. He was less then surprised to hear about it. It was nice tho. He might be out here in April, which would be nice, provided I haven't had to move by then...
Other then that, not a whole hell of a lot going on. Bill paying sucks, but it doubly-sucks when you know there is not going to be any money going back into the checking account. Double-plus ungood!!!
I have pretty much done everything around my apartment I can do. Soon, I am going to go completly stir crazy. I have a second interview on Monday, so hopefully they will just say 'Hey, here is a pile of money. Come work for us and do cool things.' Probably not, but I can dream.
Sent out a few more resumes, with Summary spelled correctly now (*thanks*), and if anyone else sees anything that I could change on the old resume that would increase my chances of employment, please speak up.

Other then all that, I have a pile of wierd emotions and feelings going on that I really can't talk about. I need someone to waste a Saturday with. Won't you waste the day with me?