Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

I want to be a housecat.
I want to curl up in someone's lap, have them stroke my hair, call me a goober, and tell me how pretty I am..

Is that too much to ask?

Twenty, Twenty, Twenty-Four hours to go...
So I just finished reading this book and am trying to decide on whether or not to go to my doctor. So I have read all about the SSRI's and MAOI's and tricyclics and whathave you. I know a lot of their side effects, but what I want to know, really, is whether they are worth the trouble, or if I would just be causing myself unnecessary truama. If anyone has anything they would or could share, one way or the other, please share here or send an email to scott at thereisnoarizona dot org

and for my next trick, I will beat my head into the tile floor until it feels good...

So, the worst she could say is not 'No', the worst she could say is 'I have a boyfriend'...

Blah.. Went down to the coffee shop tonight ( no, coffee-shop girl wasn't working tonight ), and it was apparently 'open mike night'. There is a reason why I don't sing, and this reason was demonstrated tonight. Some people have singing voices and some don't. The first woman who got up sang very nicely, and the only bad part was no one sang in her singalong. I just couldn't bring myself to sing the praises of Iowa. But the songs were nice and she had a very nice voice. The second woman had a nice voice and all, but I couldn't seem to find the beat in any of her songs. I got the distinct impression she was making it up as she went along. The final guy I saw there completly demonstrated that some people can't sing. Also, he proved my theory that if you can't sing like Peter Gabrial, you shouldn't sing Peter Gabrial songs. He plodded all over 'In Your Eyes', so now I must watch 'Say Anything...' to scrub that from my brain...

Ok, so I think that the coffee-shop girl winked at me, but I'm not sure. I would user her name, but prefer not to, so hence-forth, she will be known as the coffee-shop girl. We chatted a little, and I found out that she is asthmatic (so am i) and whathave you. We argued over the passing of prop 200. So, now I am left with the decision to belive that she winked at me, and ask her out or something, or just leave it at the current coffee-server to coffee-consumer relationship. Gah

blah blah blah.
Yadda yadda blah yak yak yak

I can't sleep. Can't seem to sleep much lately. There is something missing, and I can't seem to place my finger on it. Seems like I can feel the days pass until I turn 30. And I know that it's not that old and there is still time for... whatever. But there is something missing. Seems like only yesterday I was 20, starting my second year of college, brave new world and all that. Now many years and compromises later, I still feel like something is missing. A lot has come and gone in my life over the last 10 years. I left college after 3 years, none the worse for wear. Spent a couple of doing the work thing. That didn't work out. Got scared and married the first woman I slept with. Got into a job that consumed my life. The marriage went sour so I bailed. Continued the all encompassing job, and that burned me out after the divorce. Got a higher paying, less stressful job. Seemed good for a while, but I wanted to move to AZ to be with the second ( and last ) woman who slept with me. That didn't work out, but again I had the job. Job dies, find another. And now I am at this point where I have absolutely no clue as to what I am doing.
Something is missing. I move through my days, as if by rote. Get up, shower, shave. Go to work, go to lunch, go home. Feed the cats, play with the cats. Ride down to the coffee shop, read a book, go home. Have a drink, watch a movie, go to bed. This pretty much describes my entire week, except on weekends when you remove the work part. I feel the need to do something extreme, but at this point, extreme is juvanile. Not that I have any idea of what to do.
I've noticed lately that I have no idea how to relate to people on a personal level. Things like how to make friends, how to ask the cute coffee-shop girl out on a date. It sounds goofy, but I don't have a clue. I thought this journal would help, but I don't know. This isn't really personal, and most of the time I feel like I am just whining about my bad fortune, when it really isn't bad fortune. It's just nothing.
In ten years, I will be sitting in this same place, about to turn 40, and I'm sure I won't notice that pass either. I guess I feel a bit let down with this whole grown-up thing. I guess I thought that by 30 I would have more and better stories than what I have. I guess I thought I would at least have a better idea where this is going to end up. Maybe I do have an idea of where this is going to end up, and I don't like it.
But I have no idea where this will end up. Definatly not here.

A tip from Uncle Scott
When drinking Whisky Sours (or amaretto sours), DO NOT drink them from pint glasses...

Poor hos

program,
n : a magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages.
tr.v. : To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.

Some pictures from my Saturday bike ride
ASU Art Museum

Something I have never been able to figure out. Arizona has more boats per capita then any other state (from what I hear).

This is a sculpture outside the art museum.

ASU Music building

Sculpture outside the music building

Plaque for the above sculpture

This was written on the steps by the museum.

So I haven't been writing anything too thought provoking, but since Robyn has linked to me, I feel that now I must. One thing I have been thinking lately is my career choice. Somedays I love my job and somedays, like today, I hate it. Sometimes I wish I had a 'repeative task' type job. Where it is pretty much the same from day to day, without too many variations. Something a little less mentally taxing. Now I don't mean to belittle these jobs, but on days like today, I would much rather be the janitor then spend hours upon hours trying to find an off-by-one bug in our calendering code. I miss the days of just going to work and knowing what to expect. Knowing that there are things that you will have to do, and knowing exactly what they are. You can sort of prepair for that type of work, rather then having a vague idea of what is going to happen.
On the way home, I was listening to the AM radio, and they were talking about a lawsuit that the families of 11 imigrants who died in the Senoran desert have filed against 2 federal agencies. Now a couple of things to mention on this case. Firstly, the 11 imigrants were entering the country illegaly. The two men who were transporting them, if I remember correctly, abandonded them in the desert for some reason I can't remember at this moment. The 2 men were arrested, tried, and jail, as I recall. Now, these families are sueing because there weren't water stations placed in the desert to prevent these people from dieing.
I want to go on record that I don't feel these people deserved to die, but I feel that this lawsuit is totally baseless. These people were commiting crimes. I don't feel that the federal government has any responsibility for these deaths. They alledge that because the Border Patrol has made it more difficult to gain entry illegally in urban areas of the border, these people were forced to cross throught the desert. This I also feel is totally rediculous. They chose to cross. The government didn't force them to do anything. I feel the border patrol has done the proper thing in leaving only the more difficult and dangerous options available, which should diswade anyone from attempting to enter illegally.
TODO: Find links to the stories.
It was a pretty busy weekend, although I don't feel like I got much done. Went to dinner at Kacy's friday night, with Dyanna and Andy. It was a nice chicken thing, with fruit salad. We talked a lot, examined the obsessive-compulsive ordering of DVDs and CDs by Kacy's alleged boyfriend, then watched the South Park movie. Saturday, I went into work for a few hours, finished up a bunch of code, and commited it to CVS. Went to see a movie (Escaflowne) with Andy, and then sat at home and watched a DVD and drank Whisky and Amaretto sours (which reminds me, I need more sour mix). Sunday I called my mom, of course, goofed around at home, went to the pet store for cat supplies, bought a printer I later found wouldn't work with my computer (it's going back on Saturday), and did a little coding. I spent a couple of hours with Anne at lunch which was nice. I haven't seen her in a long time and we went to Sabuddy's (mediterranian). The food was good, but the waiter, while being a really nice person, says the most random things. I think he is smitten with Anne, which is easy to see why. I suppose I am still a bit smitten with her, but I really can't imagine asking her out on a date. I don't know why, but it just feels that way now. Wasted the rest of the day and talked on AIM until late in the night. Then work,work,work all day and leave at 7 to go home and play with the cats. I have more pictures from my Saturday bike ride that I will post as soon as I get them off the camera.

Also, I managed to get carded buying sour mix, bitters, and grenadine. How odd is that?
The clerks remarks..."Getting drunk tonight?"
And, since he already carded me, I bought a pint of amaretto.

I'm drinking tonight, someone come drink with me :)

Ahh.. Whiskey Sours on a Saturday night. If y'all are lucky, more interesting posts will follow in short order :)

random
photos

How cute is this?
Update
More heather cuteness.

Is there anything better then having your cat wink at you after fixing her toy?
I think not...

Ways to avoid going to work on a Saturday

• Ride down to the pizza place for lunch.


• Go to Borders for random book browsing


• Ride to the mall to see the Spider-Man movie


• Make dinner, since it is late and you should eat before you go


• Start reading a book


• Weigh the option of doing laundry vs. going to work


• Weigh the option of cleaning the apartment vs. going to work


• Weigh the option of cleaning the apartment vs. doing laundry


• Spend time writing silly lists

So this happened about a mile away from where I live. How very odd.

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